so i came to the realization yesterday that i am probably a fairly shallow person. i’ve always thought that my inability to pick up girls related to the fact that 1) they hardly ever approach me and 2) i get all nervous when they do.

yesterday a couple of my friends and i went to the beach (well, as close as you can get to a beach in ohio anyways). we were hanging out on a sand volleyball court, just hitting the ball back and forth over the net. the sand was really, really hot so we weren’t really playing a game, but rather just messing around. well up walks this girl from somewhere else, and she asks if she could get someone else to come over and play 3 v 3. i turned to her, did a quick once over, saw she was kinda fat, and just said “well, we aren’t really playing. we’re just messing around.” she goes “oh, ok” then stands there for another minute, then walk away.

my friend’s gf goes “why can’t she play?” at that moment, i realized that i kind of wasn’t very inviting to this girl, never really made eye contact, and kind of just shut her out right away. last night while i’m laying bed trying to get to sleep (which was neigh impossible due to the fact that i failed to put any suntan lotion on my back, so it got burnt the fuck up) i started to replay the little exchange in my head and figure out what it was that made me not be too friendly to this girl.

it came to me in a flash of brilliance… it was her looks. i gave her the once over, dismissed her as fat, and that was that. i wasn’t interested in spending time with her or getting to know her. i didn’t even bother to find out if the other person she wanted to bring was another girl (maybe a hot one) or even a dude. once i made that realization, i started thinking back on a lot of different encounters i have with different girls. i started to see a pattern where i’m not as friendly with the fat ones as i am with the hot ones.

so i started to ponder this new found personality flaw, and it dawned on me… why should i even care if i’m shallow? it’s always seen by society that being shallow is a bad thing, yet i think to some extent everyone is shallow in one way or another. just the term itself, shallow, seems, well, shallow. heh. what i’m getting at is, if it is in your nature to be attracted to a certain body type, intelligence level, whatever, then why should you fight that? why should you go against your own nature just to please society? i don’t think that is a very good way to go about your life, really.

so i’m an internet junkie, you might say. i’ve had the internet since back in 95 or 96. i’ve made plenty of friends on the internet, mostly through gaming, but also from forums and other “community” type sites. i’ve gone to lan parties and hosted lan parties. i’m a nerd, what can i say?

anyway, it’s always interesting to meet people from the internet. that was even more the case back in the days before voice communication and the proliferation of digital cameras and/or scanners.

the first time i met people from the internet was back in 1999. my friend chris and i were playing qwtf (or quakeworld team fortress, for those of you that are lame and have no idea what i’m talking about) in a “clan” and had gotten to know a couple of the guys pretty well (well as well as you can get to know someone w/o actually speaking to them in person or seeing them face to face). one of the guys is married and lives in chicago and is having a party. a bunch of people are going to be there, including a guy from quebec who speaks broken english at best, and a guy from down south a bit (i forget where he lived then but now he lives down in TN).

i have to say that it was a very good time. we hung out our friend’s apartment, played games, went downtown to disney quest (which, btw, was the best arcade i’ve ever been to and is no longer there :( ), and even went out to a party at one of the other guy’s friend’s apartment.

since that time i’ve met other random people from the internet, either at concerts, bars, or whatever. since that first meeting, however, everyone that i’ve met has been local to CLMBS or OHIO in general. that is, up until last weekend when a bunch of our WoW buddies came to town and we went up to beautiful geneva on the lake for a meet-and-greet/get-really-fucked-up-with-a-bunch-of-people-you-hardly-know party. i should qualify and tell you that a couple of the people that i met for the first time at this party i have known through the internet for a number of years. two of them i’ve known online since back in the late 90s but never got the chance to meet before. all in all, it was probably one of the most fun times i’ve had and there were plenty of crazy/funny things going on to keep it entertaining for the entire weekend.

3 of the guys that came were from chicago and are probably some of the coolest people you could ever hope to meet. it’s unfortunate that they live so far away b/c i could see all of us spending a lot of time together and getting into a lot of trouble.

i guess the whole point to this little rant is that there is a stigma associated with the internet and meeting people who you’ve only been introduced to via the internet. i remember back in 99 when i told my parents that we were going ot chicago to meet a bunch of people from the internet, my mom freaked out and got all worried that i would be abducted or raped ,or both (or even killed). the funny things is, the guy that we stayed with is still one of my best friends in the world, and we get to hang out (in person) a couple times a year usually.

so is it dangerous to meet people from the internet? i would say yes it can be, but no more so dangerous than meeting a stranger at the bar. and in all honesty, i would say that it might be safer to meet someone from the internet, b/c i think in most situations you have already spent some time getting to know that person (unless it is a dating site, which i’m not really talking about here) gaming or posting on forums or chatting over IM or whatever. whereas, if you meet someone in a bar one night, you might go home with them after only and hour or two talking, and who knows what you get then?